In one of my very early sexual escapades with New Guy, I stopped him mid-thrust to caution him about his hand placement. His fingers were wandering dangerously close to my purple starfish and my blood pressure was rising, so I warned him to stay away from my rear end. I told him that was off limits until further notice - he'd have to be my boyfriend to be poking around back there.
Well, things have progressed quickly and we have been spending lots of time together. He told me yesterday he would like to call me his girlfriend.
"Listen," I said. "I’ll be your girlfriend but I’m still not ready for any action to my back side. I need to be completely mentally prepared for such happenings."
"Listen," I said. "I’ll be your girlfriend but I’m still not ready for any action to my back side. I need to be completely mentally prepared for such happenings."
I think he was puzzled that my mind immediately went to the dark place and assured me that my butt had nothing to do with us going steady. Way to turn a tender moment into scary visions of anal beads dancing through my head.
So, I reached out and shook his hand as we drove down the highway, agreeing on a rectified version of “rules and regulations according to me”.
Looks like I've got to come up with a new name for New Guy now that he's my boyfriend and all.
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