Someone stinks!!!

The night before my sister's wedding we went out for dinner and took home a container of the various shrimp, scallops, mussels, fish, and clams left over between a few of our meals. The seafood was just too good to leave it behind. Later that night, a few of her friends came over to offer advice on the make-up trial run we were attempting. I'm not sure who, but one of those girls absolutely reeked of fish. I was repulsed. Everybody went to high school with a girl who hadn’t quite wrapped her head around feminine hygiene and I was pretty sure one of these girls was “that girl”.

The next morning I threw on my clothes from night before, knowing I'd soon be showering and getting in my dress. Holy Moses! The fish aroma almost gagged me. I brought my sweater up to my nose thinking that maybe the restaurant's aroma was super strong and the fibers of my sweater soaked it in. Just then, mom walks in the front door and says she almost puked when she opened the car door that morning. The leftovers had spilled in the front seat and the stench was unbearable.

“Mom, there’s no way it could have spilled, I was holding it in my lap - I would have felt wet.” I argued.

She says, “Liz, I'm telling you, I scrubbed the marinara out of the upholstery with a wet cloth. Bend over!”

I eagerly bend over, spread eagle style and grab my ankles, looking upside down at my mother, who begins to point and cover her mouth while jumping up and down, as tears form in her eyes. That can’t be good, I think to myself.

Sure enough, I had red film and tiny tomato seeds dried into the crotch of my jeans. That is what you could see. What was invisible to the human eye, were the juices from all the treats from the sea that were in that sauce. I felt like a real asshole thinking quite mean spirited things about my sister’s odoriferous friends the night before.

How I didn’t notice I was sitting in what was essentially a fish stew, I'll never know. But I do know you don’t want to go for a spin with my mother anytime soon.