Can you spare a square?

I had a girlfriend in town for a few days. I live alone and know how often I need to replace my roll of toilet paper. I went through 3 rolls in the 5 days she was here!!

Back in 2007 Sheryl Crow asked everyone to consider using just one square per visit to the bathroom. Now, this is a completely absurd suggestion to make, and I don’t think very many people gave it a second thought.

But I am here to tell you I work it out in there every time with 5 or under squares. Seriously ladies, let's really be honest about how much moisture you are trying to whisk away… not much!

My walls are thin here in my apartment and I swear my heart sinks every time I hear someone swatting at the dispenser in my bathroom. You know you hit the roll with some slight top spin and batatatatatata and before you know it there’s a foot of toilet paper almost to the floor, which you then crumple and wad up like a pitcher's glove.

There are so many things we do on auto pilot and taking a whiz surely is one of them. But please, try and think about it the next time you pop a squat. Take 5 pieces and see what happens. I bet you my left kidney; your fingers will be dry.