7 am

I have an unconventional relationship with the chiropractor I work for. He is much more of a friend than a boss. Which might have made it hard for him to reprimand me when I misread the schedule twice on Friday, showing up late to both appointments - but that’s neither here nor there.

A month or so ago I checked the schedule on my Google calendar before going to bed. This routine gets my mind right on exactly what I have going on the next day. I see to my horror he has me down for a 7 am. My heart starts pounding fast in my chest, the thought of waking up before 9 am seriously causes my blood pressure to rise. And then I remember him saying as I walked out the front door earlier that day, “see you at 7, bright and early!" To which I responded by giving him my middle finger and a “yeah right.”

So I text: Robert Duvall is on my schedule for 7am. What the fuck is that??? I totally thought you were joking when I left there today.

This guy lives and dies by his cell, and 12 minutes later when he hadn’t responded, I wrote again: I’m going to bed. I will be in for my 11 am appointment. I never work before 10, you know this and did not have a lengthy chat with me about me coming in that early. So I am assuming this is a mistake.

14 minutes later I still hadn’t heard back from that bitch. I was having a mild panic attack, envisioning this new patient sitting in the lobby at 7:10 and the Dr. with his hands up saying, “She should be here, I confirmed with her yesterday.”

I text again, since I’m laying there thinking did he REALLY schedule me a 7am!?!? Dude, I never ever get up that early. I'm not even close to functioning at that hour. I am shocked you didn’t talk to me about this.

And finally he answers with: Gotcha!! Robert Duvall is an actor from the Godfather. See you at 11.

I replied: You Fucker.

I wonder how many people are able to  say something like that in one breath and then ask for their check in the next.