Ummmm. Did you just eat that?

I am recently back on the market again. Memories of dates gone terribly wrong have started to swirl in my head as I brace myself with thoughts of getting out there once again.

I had arrived a few minutes early and pulled up a chair to the bar at P.F Changs. The beer had just been handed to me as my date walked through the door. I motioned him over and got him one, as well. Only a few minutes later our table was ready. When we sat down I noticed he had something in his hand. Whatcha got there? I ask.

Oh, this is just the napkin that the beer was placed on, he says, and then he puts it to his mouth and tore off the tiniest little corner. I eat paper.

It took every ounce of self control to not let my jaw drop or eye brows rise. Did he really just eat some napkin?

A: I think the last time I had paper in my mouth was 3^rd grade.

B: Way to really let it all hang out on the second date.
C: Yes, he swallowed it.

After dinner we stopped across the street for frozen yogurt. And we each got a napkin, this time it was the brown recycled kind. Again he took a tiny little papery nibble before his first bite of his dessert.

If I had this terrible affinity for eating paper, I'd certainly be getting my fix in the privacy of the bathroom stall instead of across the table from a date.

There never was a third one.